Belly-dancers and Kazakh Language Lessons

I’m feeling a little behind in my posting (journaling for the boy). I must back up a few days…

Thursday was our best day yet at the baby house. Our boy was very happy to see us and showed a lot of effort with his crawling and walking attempts.  He’s also figured out how to hold a sippy cup with just a few days of practice.  There are two other kids and parents in the room doing their bonding at the same time as us. None of the kids, all over one year old, can hold a bottle or cup. We parents believe the kids are not allowed to hold the cups. The care-givers might be trying to make the feeding process go faster and therefore not allow the kids to hold their drinks. We’re not permitted into any other rooms in the baby house so we can’t say for sure what goes on back there… just a guess.

Bonding on Friday (day 11) also went well. The little guy is showing more and more of his personality. He squeals like a cat when he wants something or when he doesn’t want something (like Jesse tickling him relentlessly).  We’re encouraged by his progress over the past 11 days and can’t wait to get him home so he can really focus on “catching up” and feeling loved.

Thursday evening we went to dinner at BBQ with one of the families mentioned above. Rob and Donalee are here from North Dakota and are adopting a little boy. Their son gives our son a run for his money in the cute department!  We really enjoyed the company and English conversation.

Friday evening we had dinner plans with Yuliya and Jon-Paul so we in turn invited along all our other American friends. I haven’t properly introduced the Dickey Family yet… allow me to do so before telling about our dining experience. 

The Dickey’s are from North Carolina and are truly a pleasure to be around.  Michael and Angie have given their children such an incredible experience… yes they brought the whole family along to be a part of their adoption journey. Three polite well-rounded teenagers, ages 17, 15, and 13 willingly packed up and moved to Kazakhstan for 2 months (they’re staying for the appeal period). The stories they tell are great! They have such an adventurous spirit and have really embraced living here.  Their new baby sister, Landen, is one lucky little girl!

So nine of us head to dinner Friday night, back to the Greek/Sushi place mentioned in a past post. This time we have the assistance of Yuliya and Jon-Paul, so ordering is easy. I order beef and rice (good) and Jesse orders salmon (good).  This evening isn’t about the food, it’s about the atmosphere.  There was a birthday party or some sort of celebration dinner going on in the main part of the restaurant. The speaker volume was so loud; every time someone gave a toast or they played music we couldn’t hear each other speak at our table (that’s an important fact).  

The restaurant’s entertainment for the evening was belly dancers. The first time they came out to dance they had on pink gowns and we enjoyed the show.  Then they came out again later with fewer clothes on and one of them came slinking up to me. ME, I’m at a table with 4 men and she’s doing her belly dancing/hip swishing thing right in front of me. I’m now way out of my comfort zone, as if living in Kazakhstan where I can’t speak, read or write the language isn’t enough. 

Later in the evening, Michael mentions there is common English sound/word that is a very bad word in the Kazakh language, but is often said during English public speaking. Yuliya says she knows the word he means. She says the word softly. After not being able to hear all night I repeat it kind of loudly….UMMM, with an M or UHHG?  The look of shock and horror on Yuliya's face is priceless. I think she wanted to quickly distance herself from the whole table.  Imagine, setting at a nice restaurant in the States and someone loudly says the “P word” for the female private area.   I’m feeling embarrassed at this point because I embarrassed Yuliya -- but I swear all I said was “UMMM”.

Michael’s daughter Chelsea ran into a similar experience this week, when she said 'Umm’ about 27 times when speaking to a class of Kazakh kids.  Nice of the Kazakh teacher to count, yet not tell her about the meaning of 'Umm' until after her presentation.  Lesson – be aware of subtle language differences when speaking to foreign audiences!

As we're walking home from dinner that night, we see fireworks directly above our heads.  Oh, it's not fireworks, it is the power lines.  The lines running over the sidewalk are swaying in the wind and touching -- thus shooting major sparks across the sidewalk and street.  Maybe the Kazakh God of Electricity was trying to punish me for saying that bad word.

A Few Questions Answered

Written 4/17
Local time (Shymkent) -- 5:06 p.m. Cincinnati Time – 7:06 a.m.

As we have stated several times, the blog has served as a great way to stay connected to our family and friends while on this long-distance journey. One of the limitations of the blog is that we can’t directly address questions that are asked in the blog comments. So, Amy and I wanted to take a moment to try to address several of the questions that have been asked along the way, as well as reply to a few of the comments that were posted. So, in no particular order… (no, these are not the direct quotes… I’ve taken editorial liberty to either elaborate on a question for clarity, or altered it to generally embarrass or harass the original author… Jesse).

“Curious if the toilet training approach Amy described actually works?” [Refers to 4/16 post] – Grandma T.

• Well, depends on your definition of ‘works’. It is very common, as we have confirmed from many sources, and the kids do seem to ask to go to the potty before they are 2 years old. The obvious problem is the fact that you have to be very dedicated to staying on schedule with putting them on the toilet, which knowing the group that is following this blog, I’m guessing letting your dogs out to go pee is a bit of a stretch some days. Actually, I think the bigger issue is that the kids will still have plenty of accidents, so the parents end up doing a lot of laundry. Doesn’t sound like a good option to me. I love the idea of saving a buck and getting through the diaper phase as much as the next guy, but extra dirty laundry… hmm, not a good tradeoff to me.

• And since we’re on the diaper topic – no Allen, the picture in the slideshow is not an example of a Kazakhstan child’s dirty diaper. It’s a quite taste Turkish dish call Lamahcun (my spelling may be off). Kinda like pizza, but thinner crust. We’ll be sure to bring you back one, if I can ever get the diaper thought out of my mind. Thanks for ruining it for me… ;)

“How long do you guys get to spend with your little guy, and when is the adoption actually finalized?” – Lauryn and Jason

• As with most everything else, schedules here tend to be very ‘flexible’. While we were provided our son’s schedule (naps, meals, etc.) after our initial meeting, it took a few meetings to really get a feel for his schedule. More to the point, the first few meetings were brief (about 30-45 minutes), as he was quickly tired and wanted to nap. Once we found a time of day that worked well for him (12:30 pm), our visits have extended to about 1-1 ½ hours a day.
  

• As for the adoption being finalized --  In short, since we have a US consulate in Kazakhstan, we’ll be able to process all paperwork here before flying back to the US. So, he’ll be a US citizen once the plane touches down in the states (yippee!).
  

“I’m about to make a trip to Kazakhstan, and I would like a quick way to be able to pick out the prostitutes from the crowd. I hear that they are the ones wearing shorts, is this true?” – Grandma T [umm… I may have altered this question a little - Jesse ;) ]

• First off, Ian, I suggest you get a hold of your wife and discuss the risks of this type of a lifestyle. Specifically in this part of the world. Or perhaps she was asking on your behalf? Either way, it appears you two lovebirds are out of luck, as the myth is just that. Shorts are not reserved for the ladies of the evening, particularly since summers are quite hot in Kazakhstan. However, I was warned that Americans with chicken legs should consider twice before attempting to wear shorts in public, as it’s likely to result in hysteria among the abundant population of cute Kazakhstan ladies that work and live in the city. Good thing we are on schedule to wrap up before things really heat up here…
  

• And since this is a truly important topic, I felt that additional research was in order, so I also discovered that prostitution is actually somewhat legal in Kazakhstan. I say somewhat as it seems that the actual ladies are likely not to be the ones arrested, but the ‘managers’ of these enterprises will be targeted for prosecution. Not really consistent, but seems to have the overall effect of discouraging this type of activity. So, fellas, don’t go getting too excited…
  

“Has Amy tried any horse meat yet?” – Mama and Papa

• Umm… I guess the honest answer is that we’re not sure. Not by a conscience decision, at least not yet. Of course, if she does, I’m afraid that our Kentucky friends may not allow us back in the state.
  

• Before you ask, I haven’t tried yet either and I just made Amy the designated food taster. Sorry dear, looks like you gave me control of the wrong blog update!
  

"Xopowezo fpemehh" – Tim MacVeigh

• Tim, since I need to actually translate this back into Cyrillic before then attempting to translate into English (since my Russian-English book is a bit limited), perhaps you could give me a hint? Pretty sad that you have a better handle on Russian (or is this Kazakh?) than me ;)
  

Again, please keep the comments coming.  It's great to stay connected to everyone while off in the wilds of Kazakhstan.  Which reminds me that Shymkent is often referred to as the 'Texas' of Kazakhstan.  This is due to the history of lawlessness and corruption in Shymkent, which seems to be somewhat improving over the past few years, but still well off from our standards.  Of course, not sure what is says about Texas, either... ;)

Bonding Day 8

So we’re on bonding day 8 of 14 and the baby is doing well. He wasn’t quite as playful and energetic today. We’re thinking his teeth may be bothering him. He was chewing on his fingers and his gums are inflamed. Honestly we didn’t mind because he very happy to be held and then rocked to sleep. Also today we got the results of the blood work we ordered and all the results are negative.

Here’s an interesting fact for all… the babies here don’t wear diapers. Not just the ones in the orphanage but most young children. The obvious first question is ‘what do they do when the baby goes potty?’ --- they just wash the clothes. (Perhaps this is why they put 4 layers on them). We’ve been told they start putting the children on the potty every 3 hours starting at 6 months old. At that age it’s all about timing, but the children are sometimes completely potty trained (asking to go) before they are 2. Diapers are expensive; a pack to 64 diapers is over $25, with the average income being approximately $400 per month. On our second visit the Baby House Director asked us to bring diapers, so now when they bring in our son he thankfully has on a diaper.

We haven’t experienced much “sticker shock”. The prices of most items we’re buying are reasonably priced. Our dinner tonight was $9.00 and it was great. A bottle of water is 50 cents, a .5 liter of beer is $1.00, and a pack of cigarettes is $1.00 (perhaps we should start the habit while we are here?). We did buy a baby toy at the Mall toy store and it was $30, which is outrageous. It’s a $10 toy at home. I did hear that pair of Levi’s Jeans are $125 dollars.

The hotel is the only place that accepts US dollars, therefore we must exchange for Tenge. There are currency exchange places on every street corner it seems. The dollar is weak; we’re getting 120 Tenge for 1 dollar. The hotel said they accept Visa but the machine was “broken” when we checked in. The visa machine was also “broken” at the only restaurant we ask to us it--- meaning don’t count on using your Visa card when coming to Shymkent.

Update on the laundry situation: The hotel service was fine, I don’t know the cost of it but our clothes are clean and wearable. They don’t use Downey that’s for sure! They picked up our clothes from our room and brought them back the next day. Good thing, I was thinking it’s going to be hard to wash jeans in the bathroom sink and use 'the pipes'. In the bathroom there are exposed hot water pipes to hang your clothes for drying. I brought a small bottle of laundry soap and I wash the smaller articles. It’s actually kind of convenient.

We’re off to breakfast. We haven’t talked much about Breakfast because there is nothing exciting to say about it. It's free with our room so we go every morning to eat the same thing. I usually eat oatmeal type food with raisens and Jesse eats eggs and the hotdog/sauage. Blah Blah Blah. Did I mention it's free?

A Note from Daddy, to my Little Ones

4/13/2008
This was posted earlier under another topic - just wanted to split it off so we could find it easier in the future.  There are two new posts below, but read Amy's first...

The blog has been a wonderful way for Amy and I to share our experiences over the past week, and based on some of the comments, it seems to be interesting to those that are following along as well. While typically we are writing to all of you, this one is focused on three little ones that mean the world to me. Of course, as always, all are welcomed to read and comment.

First off, to my oldest son Connor (this is the first time I’ve been able to say oldest son), I’m so proud of how well you are doing at home while we are away. It is exciting to hear that you scored a goal in your first soccer game of the spring season! It shows that you have been practicing hard, and you must be playing well with your new team. I just hope that you are having fun and always trying your best.

I must also admit that I can’t stop smiling when I think of how well you are doing in Karate. To hear that you just sparred Caleb (the toughest orange belt around) and scored a three point head kick is amazing! And knowing that you are also breaking boards, I better get exercising so that I don’t get completely whipped when we are able to spar again soon.
I miss our bi-weekly haircuts together, followed by our Starbucks ‘treats’. I doubt that I’ll be able to hold out until I return to get my noggin shaved, or I’ll look a bit like a hippy (ask Papa what that means), but I’ll sure look forward to heading straight for the nearest coffee shop when we return. It’s so comforting knowing that I have such a mature young man watching over Lana and Buckeye while we are traveling, so thanks (Spy-see-ba), and miss you. Love Dad.

To my rambunctious little daughter Lana, I hope that you can delay the back flips long enough to hear this note. I’m so encouraged by your genuine interest in the new baby that I’m often startled by your questions and awareness of the situation. I was hopeful that you both would be interested in the process, and certainly in the prospect of having a baby brother, but never would have imagined that you would have grasped the details as you have. So to your earlier questions, yes, he’s doing well. Yes, he has brown hair and brown eyes like you. He’s ticklish like Connor, but has ‘robust’ cheeks like you. And he has plenty of unique qualities that we’re still getting to know.

I was disappointed to hear that you caught a cold this week and that your soccer game was cancelled. Based on how your practices have gone so far, I know that you will do very well. Size isn’t a concern, as you tend to be twice as quick and nearly so in competitive spirit as the rest of the field. I also miss seeing you at gymnastics, but Grandma T assures me that you continue to “tear’em up”. It’s magical watching you play at a sport in which you truly excel. Your mother and I both hope that gymnastics can hold your attention, as this seems to be a venue you could go very far. Let me know if you get to the top of the rope again this week. Love you and miss you, and please continue to watch over the big fuzz-ball.

And to the newest member of the Moore household (name soon to be unveiled to the world), it’s been a wonderful pleasure getting to know you these past few days. Someday you will read about the challenges that your mommy and I had to overcome to find you. Just know that after meeting you, those issues seemed quite trivial, and if necessary, we would have made the trip a million times.

From our initial meeting, you have been bright eyed and inquisitive. Contrary to high stress environment that we have been thrust into, you always have a calm demeanor, as if you are the one evaluating us rather than the other way around. I certainly hope we meet your standards.
While I hoped that the ‘getting to know you’ stage would go relatively smoothly, I felt that there would be an awkwardness of having ‘bond’ with a stranger in a strange land, under a very controlled and regimented schedule. So ok, the regimented schedule and fact that we are contained to a single room is very confining, but you have been absolutely great. You seem to let your personality shine through quickly, and you have a very easy going style that is comforting (not to mention that you haven’t fussed once – or peed on me yet, thanks!). In fact, I’d say that you will feel right at home with your new family, and I can’t wait to introduce you to your brother and sister. They are certainly going to find you interesting! Just be aware that the creature called Buckeye may look like a Yeti, but is actually just a really, really large dog. Don’t worry, Lana controls him. Love you son, can’t wait to visit again tomorrow.

Miss you all, and can’t wait for the family to be together soon. Love, Daddy.

More Dinner Related Fun

Jesse here…

Just wanted to add a few comments regarding our restaurant experience last night (it’s now Tuesday morning for us -- read Amy's note below first). Amy and I have tried our best to integrate with the culture and fully experience life in Shymkent as much as possible during our short (ok, maybe not so short) stay here. This includes learning at least some of the basic Russian phrases to help us become self sufficient and somewhat independent when heading off to feed ourselves. Last evening I discovered we have been over-thinking our approach all along.

While at Address, the very nice waitress provided us menus that were, of course, completely in Russian. After noticing that we couldn’t read the menu, she helpfully ushered over another waitress, who immediately proceeded to rattle off the menu in what I presume was Kazakh. Not wanting to be rude, we waited for a pause in her presentation, and then politely mentioned that we hadn’t the slightest idea what she was saying, as we spoke Angleeski. Laughter abounded.
So, she then pointed to a dish on the menu, and said what sounded a bit like ‘chken’, and flapped her ‘wings’. Ahh… chicken.

I follow her lead. I point to the next picture, and say ‘Moo?’. She smiles, but shakes her head. Nyet.

‘Baah…’, I reply. She giggles, and gives us the thumbs up. Lamb it is.

She points to the last dish and repeats the ‘Moo’. Beef. Got, it.

See, ordering from a Turkish restaurant in a Russian speaking country isn’t so hard, is it? I just can’t wait to order pork!

Amy here: I’m ready to crawl under the table and hide my face while this game of “Old McDonald Charades” is going on.

Monday Night Update

Its Monday night here and Jesse and I met our match this evening… we went in search of a Greek restaurant Zhenia told us about. After walking around the place a few times trying to figure out where to go in, we see two young men standing outside and they motion us into a restaurant. There is nothing Greek about it, it looks like an upscale sushi restaurant. I have a very wimpy sushi palate, a fresh spring roll suits me fine and that’s about it. Jesse has now perfected the “do you have an Engliski menu?” question in Russian…NYET! No English and no pictures on the menu. Oh No. I start to panic a little… a sushi place is not where you want to take a wild guess at what to order. I start envisioning them bringing out something live with tentacles. I’d rather eat horse meat! We decide to leave and save that restaurant for another day (or another year as far as I’m concerned).

Instead we went to Address, a local Turkish restaurant. The food is great but later in the evening it turns into a scene from the Sopranos. Every man (and it’s only men) that walks in gives every other man in the place a pat on the shoulder and a handshake. They sit and smoke and drink tea together. I wish I could understand what they were saying … well maybe not, I wouldn’t want to know the name of the poor guy who’s going to get his legs broken.

So now we’re back at the room preparing for movie time. We brought about 30 DVD’s from home. At night we position the laptop and external speaker between us on the bed and enjoy our English entertainment. Coming from a home with two huge HD TV’s, I’m surprised at how happy we are to watch our movies on this tiny screen. Ahh Kazakhstan.

We do watch some local TV. They have Cartoon Network here and today Scooby Doo was on, in Russian. Oh and we saw Dora the Explorer on TV in Russian, but here she speaks Russian and teaches Spanish words instead of speaking English and teaching Spanish words. It cracks me up to watch it for a few minutes. We also like the Euro Sport channel. Today they had on a Karate tournament. We found ourselves torn between who to root for, the Russian guy or the Kazakhstan guy. Only a problem in the Moore family, good thing there wasn’t an American team as well.

And to save the best news for last we had a nice visit with “The BOY”. Today is the first day we got some recognition from him when they brought him into the room. I’m sure he’s thinking, “Oh, hey look that goofy American couple is here again today. “ We gave him a bit of a workout by forcing him to crawl or walk to his toys instead of handing him everything. It’s helping – he’s getting stronger and stronger each day.

Saturday and Sunday Morning

I just read Jesse’s post about our trip into Shymkent and the day that followed. I must add a few editorial comments…

As for the SARS family: oh my gosh, not only was it a complete invasion of my personal space but they all had on surgical masks. All I could think of as I’m standing there holding my breath is, where is that antibiotic I packed?

As for the translations story: Keep in mind that the topic at hand during that 4 way translation fiasco was the health of the child. The single most important conversation we’ll have the entire trip! And the reason she spoke in Kazakh was because she thought our translator should know Kazakh. She added a layer of unnecessary stress. The next day she came into the room speaking perfect Russian. I’m telling you… it’s impossible to make this stuff up!

Saturday:

The BH Director told us, actually told Zhenia, we could not come on Saturday to see the baby. Zhenia calls Nurshai and tells her what the Director said. A few minutes later Zhenia’s phone rings and he says, “We’ll pick you up at 8:30a.m.” It’s good to have connections. We spent about an hour with him and then he fell asleep in Jesse’s arms. His nap time is 10:00 a.m., so it was right on time.

We’re guarded with what we can say about him in this forum. We are doing our best to follow the rules and do everything possible to get our son home quickly. What I can tell you is he’s cute! He’s Kazakh, which is an Asian look; he has brown hair and brown eyes. His skin is light. He has two bottom teeth and a few coming in on the top. He has big cheeks. Our favorite feature so far… he’s really ticklish. It’s not hard to get a smile from him.

Note: we’re finding there are many ethnic groups living here. It appears the slight majority are Kazakh. There are also Russians (light skin and hair) and Uzbeks and Turks (darker skin and hair). When I proudly showed a picture of Lana and Connor to the government official, she was surprised that Lana was Russian. She said,” she’s so dark.” We always thought Lana looked a lot like our neighbor Jessica Camardo (Italian) – come to think of it, maybe Joe did take a little excursion to Russia in 2002?

The big treat today was our dinner plans with Yuliya and Jon-Paul. We thoroughly enjoyed the dinner and ENGLISH conversation. My food was great. A steak with sour cream, mushroom, onion sauce and mashed potatoes. Jesse ordered chicken which was good but had bones in it. We have not found a boneless skinless chicken dish yet. (Spoiled Americans).

We bombarded Yuliya and Jon-Paul with questions, not to be rude but we want to learn about the inner workings of the country. Right now it’s like trying to judge American life after spending a week in downtown Chicago, not a true picture. There were many topics discussed and I’ll tell you about them in parts.

Today I want to tell you about the medical practices/procedures. When a woman is pregnant and ready to deliver she goes to the maternity hospital. As soon as she is checked in she’s locked (yes locked) into a room for 10 days. There is a small window in the door for her husband or family to speak with her or to pass food. The husband is not allowed in the room, nor does he want to be in the room. I guess culturally the men don’t want anything to do with the birth of the baby. (After my labor experience Jesse doesn’t think that’s such a bad thing! Joking). When I ask why, Yuliya said they believe it keeps things sterile, yet the sheets are often stained. (Both of their children were born in US).

They described a time when their son was sick and had to go to hospital. Yuliya and their son were in hospital and unable to leave. Jon-Paul would have to come to lobby area of hospital and call up on the cell phone and wave to them three stories up.
They also said when you’re in the hospital and need medical supplies the family buys everything and brings it to the hospital. The doctor may tell you to buy bandages, needles, medication and you bring it to the hospital. Hopefully the family can afford the things you need.
Keep in mind this is the way of life here. I’m sure it’s frustrating and hard, but it’s just the way it is. Many don’t know other ways… good or bad.

Sunday:

Right now it’s Sunday afternoon and we don’t have plans. I think today we’ll figure out our laundry options. We’re told the hotel has a laundry service, but considering the towels they provide could be found at Home Depot right next to the sand paper I’m a little nervous about giving them our clothes.